We believe that the role of a therapist is to help clients more self-aware to empower them to live the lives they want. Accordingly, psychoeducation is a big part of what we do. To that end, we make many of our educational materials available here for download.
Anger Iceberg
Secondary emotions are the ones you see, but are triggered by a primary emotion. If the anger you experience is a secondary emotion, you must identify and resolve the primary emotion in order to regulate it.
We are all prone to seeing our “reality” through the filter of our own experiences and beliefs. In the field of cognitive therapy, these are called “cognitive distortions” and they can affect the way we behave, maintaining depression, anxiety and ineffective relationship patterns. Below is a list of some of the most common cognitive distortions.
This cognitive distortion causes us to notice negative details or events about a person or situation and dwell on them or to discount positive details or events. This tendency can perpetuate a negative emotion. A form of mental filtering called a "Confirmation Bias" can contribute to the maintenance of negative beliefs. Psychotherapy can help shift our focus to a more balanced view which can help break the cycles of depression and anxiety.
This cognitive distortion results in a tendency not to see the "middle ground" in situations. For example, things are either perfect or a failure, right or wrong. This can impede one's ability to recognize the complexity and nuance that exists in most situations. This can be a challenge for non-neurotypical individuals (ADHD, ASD) and can contribute to the emotions of frustration and anger. Psychotherapy can help shift this way of thinking and increase flexibility.
This cognitive distortion can cause us to arrive at a general conclusion based on a single event or piece of evidence, like expecting something bad to happen because it happened once, or expecting something bad to happen in all situations because it happened in one situation. Identifying the origin of this thinking pattern and understanding its effect can help decrease symptoms of anxiety.
This cognitive distortion represents a tendency to assume what someone is thinking or the reason they are acting a certain way. This includes assuming what someone's intentions are for their actions. This is often a factor in social anxiety. The tendency to assume someone's intentions for their actions can also contribute to negative emotions such as resentment.
This is a very common cognitive distortion associated with anxiety. We find ourselves expecting the worst possible outcome to situation. Someone prone to the cognitive distortion of catastrophizing, may also be prone to exaggerating the impact of mistakes and minor setbacks.
This cognitive distortion is a tendency to see events as a consequence of our own actions, to compare ourselves to others, and/or to assume we have been intentionally targeted or excluded. This is a factor in many types of anxiety, including OCD and social anxiety.
The cognitive distortion of an Internal Control Fallacy is a tendency to assume that we have responsibility for and control over the pain and happiness of people around us. The cognitive distortion of an External Control Fallacy is the tendency to see ourselves as helpless and to see situations and our circumstances as being outside of our control. Control fallacies can be associated with OCD.
Cognitive distortions about “should” relate to having strong beliefs about the way people should and should not behave. Directed at others, this results in anger, frustration, and resentment; directed at oneself, it results in feelings of guilt and shame.
The cognitive distortion of emotional reasoning is the belief, when we are feeling strong emotions, that what we are feeling must be true. For example: If I feel scared, there is a reason to be afraid. If I feel shame, I have something to be ashamed of. The ability to recognize this cognitive distortion can have a significant impact on our ability to regulate emotions.
This all-too-common cognitive distortion is a belief in the need to maintain unrelentingly high standards and that anything short of perfection represents failure. This can result in not trying if perfection is not assured and berating oneself when things are never good enough. It is an element of anxiety and depress
A "Social Confirmation Bias" can cause us to notice or perceive negative social interactions while ignoring positive ones, contributing to social anxiety.
People experience therapeutic change at their own pace for many reasons. An important therapeutic consideration that clients are often not aware of is their stage of change. Consider the stages listed below to see what resonates with you:
In this stage, people are not interested in seeking help as they are not thinking seriously about changing their behaviour. They may defend their behaviours despite other people’s efforts to pressure them to change. This stage can be conceptualized as denial or simply not yet seeing that there is a problem.
In the contemplation stage, people are ambivalent about change. While they are aware of the negative consequences of their behaviour and the positives associated with changing, they may doubt that the long-term benefits associated with change will outweigh the short-term costs or discomfort. It might take as little as a couple weeks or as long as a lifetime to get through the contemplation stage.
In the preparation/determination stage, people have made a commitment and are motivated to change. This is sort of a research phase. They gather information (sometimes by reading things like this) about what they will need to do to change their behaviour. Or they will check out websites, organizations and resources that are available to help them in their attempt. Importantly, people sometimes skip this stage: they try to move directly from contemplation into action and do not achieve their goals because they haven’t adequately researched or accepted what it is going to take to make this major lifestyle change.
This is the stage where people are motivated to change their and are taking steps to change their behaviour. This is the shortest of all the stages. The amount of time people spend in action varies. It generally lasts about 6 months, but it can literally be as short as one hour! This is a stage when people most depend on their own willpower.
Mentally, they review their commitment to themselves and develop plans to deal with both personal and external pressures. They may use short-term rewards to sustain their motivation, and analyze their behaviour change efforts in a way that enhances their self-confidence. People in this stage also tend to be open to receiving help and are also likely to seek support from others.
Maintenance involves being able to successfully avoid any patterns that result in old behaviours. The goal of the maintenance stage is to maintain the new status quo. People in this stage tend to remind themselves of how much progress they have made. People in maintenance are able to anticipate the situations and prepare coping strategies in advance.
They remain aware that what they are striving for is personally worthwhile and meaningful. Even though they may have thoughts of returning to old behaviour patterns, they remain self-aware and willing to stay on track.
Bridge to Better Psychotherapy
2425 Bloor Street West, Toronto, Ontario M6S 4W4, Canada
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